It seems that some anti-sex, anti-feminist woman named Susan Walsh quoted my piece in a piece attacking Jaclyn’ Friedman and her awesomely brave essay My Sluthood, Myself. Not having been involved in this kind of thing for quite some time, I read her piece (er, attempted to wade through its nonsensical and repetitive idiocy…) and let myself get baited. I commented. I deconstructed one of her more annoying paragraphs and hit “add” without thinking about what I was doing: giving her followers a platform to attack me. Doh! This was my favorite response:
I have already let use a +5 fire blast against the river troll known as Leah. See below. I see major exp points and perhaps a level up for defeating this under-boss. I’m hoping for some major loot against to use against the uber-feminists I feel might come from every cravice [sic] of forest treet they are crying in for miss jaclyn. Perhaps even a jaclyn battle herself.
Helmet of shaming deflection. Check.
Sword of Bullshit slice, upgrade +3 truth sting. Check.
Now for Boots of empathizing SMP ignorance. Sorry cannot eqiup.
LOL! (That was written by an “aspiring filmmaker.” Want his email address? He might be interested in some newsletters from oh, I don’t know, everywhere!)
Anyway, this type of thing is silly. I realized right away that commenting there was a rookie mistake and left it at that. Then I learned that Amanda Marcotte ripped her piece apart on Pandagon and had started a Twitter war. Fun! I left another comment. This time I didn’t even bother trying to deconstruct her illogical arguments, but just let myself enjoy the fun and be totally immature. For example:
Oh, and you’re right that I didn’t bother reading your bio. Why should I? I don’t know who you are – why would I? Are you under some sort of delusion that you’re famous? You being married doesn’t really have a bearing on what I said either. Married women can just as easily be afraid of the scary sluts coming to steal their husbands.
Haha, I kid. I have no interest in stealing this idiot’s husband. I’m only interested in stealing men who marry women who can construct logical arguments, sorry.
Okay, I promise I have a point and here it is: Fighting on the internet is dumb. People who are set in their beliefs aren’t going to change their thinking because of a well-constructed argument in a comment left on their blog. Whatever. As I said on Pandagon, the only thing I have to say to this woman is an old Yiddish curse that translates roughly to: “You should grow like an onion with your head in the ground.” Because looking through a narrow lens at a few “studies” that support your worldview to the exclusion of all other evidence or logic is just that.
What I will speak to is the number of assumptions and opinions that this woman spews as if they were fact, or in any way related to her “studies,” which they aren’t. She cites these “ideas” as if she were referring to common wisdom we all know and agree with, when in fact, it’s just wrong, wrong, wrong. (Nevermind offensive to many.) In my friend Jenn’s words, here are 6 major “assumptions that are stupid” made in Susan Walsh’s piece:
- Men don’t pay attention to women who want relationships because they only want casual sex.
- It’s the slutty women’s fault that men wont pay attention to women who aren’t slutty.
- Women should not support other women who are slutty because they are “wreaking havoc on the supply side” (aka stealing our menz!)
- “Relationship science is hard science.”
- Using Craigslist for dating or sex is a death sentence.
- One would only seek casual sex (via CL or otherwise) because they have suffered some sort of trauma or are in other ways emotionally unbalanced or unstable.
- “Men are usually spouting complete BS when they throw around phrases like male hegemony, patriarchy and heteronormative.”
Which one is your favorite? Feel encouraged to pick one and debunk away in the comments! (NOMAS, I’m looking at you for #7!)
The point is that these assumptions Walsh stands on are pervasive among the conservative set. So long as sex is moralized, we will suffer under these oppressive social tropes. I know I’m going to keep working to change consciousness and promote sex-positive views — just, you know, maybe not in the comments section of Susan Walsh’s blog.