Manpocolypse or Armaggedude?

Well guys, looks like you’re screwed. According to the Atlantic Monthly, it is the End of Men. Our new economy just isn’t suited for your brute strength and muscley muscles. Hanna Rosin writes: “The postindustrial economy is indifferent to men’s size and strength. The attributes that are most valuable today—social intelligence, open communication, the ability to sit still and focus—are, at a minimum, not predominantly male. In fact, the opposite may be true.” It certainly got Stephen Colbert riled.

Thanks to the “hecession,” lots of wives are earning more than their husbands. And since men are forced to take on the humiliating, degrading, and isolating roles of housekeeper and nanny, they need a mancation with man-pals to keep the bromance alive.

And since modern day ladies don’t need to worry about survival of the fittest, they now prefer pretty boys to strong, manly men. As a result, men now suffer from manorexia and the back hair removal industry has taken off.  Pretty soon, the men will have to figure out their Disney Princess Identity.

Oh, wait a second. That last one is for women: women who have always struggled in an economy that was not suited to them and a culture that is still inhospitable to working parents; women who have traditionally earned less than men and were financially subjugated to their purse-string-controlling husbands; women who have always done the childrearing and housekeeping, even when they also work full time outside the home; women who have, for generations, struggled with eating disorders and unhealthy or unsafe body modification to achieve an unrealistic standard of beauty defined by men.

Not to mention the women that are harassed on the street by men who think they have a claim to women’s bodies, or that all women owe them a pretty smile (“Smile baby”); women that are sold into sexual slavery; women who are criticized for being prudes if they don’t have sex or sluts if they do; women that aren’t trusted with control of their own reproductive freedom; women whose natural bodily functions are made the stuff of nightmares or the butt of a joke; women who still get paid less for doing the same job as a man; women who are sexualized and objectified – even so literally as sexbots; women who told it was their own fault for getting raped because they were drunk, wearing sexy clothes, or walking alone at night …

You’re right. It must totally suck to be a dude. No wonder Keanu is so sad.

One thought on “Manpocolypse or Armaggedude?

  1. My LORD, do copywriters love to turn gender-neutral words into masculine words. Is someone collecting all of these into a book? I’d buy that for my coffee table.

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